What’s hotter than Potter?

Just about anything else I’d say.

I have not the slightest clue why this keeps happening. After every Harry Potter movie in the past I silently cursed myself and decided to skip the next one. But then, a few days before official release, trailers whisper sweet promises of spectacular CGI-effects to me and here we go again. Damn it. I’m too easily swayed by eye candy.

I must admit, I haven’t read any of the books, so I’m just talking about the movie here. Speaking of special effects: Those looked very nice and flashy but nothing the world has not seen yet. The giant fire serpent, summoned by Voldemort, looked great and I was completely blown away by the hovering orb of water, in which Dumbledore trapped the evil wizard. But that splendid ruckus is all the movie has to give. It lasts only seconds. The pathetic rest was one long-winded and boring piece of cinematography.

What upsets me most about these flicks is their illogicalness and inconsistency. This time, Harry has to defend himself with magic against two „Dementors“, Rowling’s version of the ringwraiths, in front of an obviously retarded-beyond-help and squint-eyed boy. For this misdeed he is summoned to the supreme court of wizards to receive punishment, since it is strictly forbidden to cast spells in front of ordinary humans. To get there, Harry and the mages who have taken him into their custody, have a nice ride through London on their flying broomsticks…which is, of course, totally legal…
That one pales, however, in comparison to the third movie’s hilarious idiocy. I remember that Dumbledore gave Hermine a minor artifact, an amulet for time travel, to allow her to attend two coinciding classes simultaneously. BEST USE OF A TIME-TRAVELLING DEVICE E.V.E.R.! Why just travel back in time to kill Voldemort in his childhood, when battling him over and over again with a considerable amount of casualties is so much more fun? Ok, its a children’s book, no need for unnecessary complications…

Also, for me, this whole concept of pseudo-Latin incantations is just infantile and rediculous. To an adolescent’s ear the uttering of „BOOM-bada-maximus!“ to blast a stone wall to pieces is just a pain in the a**. Even for children this has got to be a tad too onomatopoeic. A bit of mysteriousness would have been nice.

But worst of all, the constant mentioning of the dark and light side of magic were more Star Wars allusions than I could bear. And when, in the final scene, Voldemort demands that Harry strike down a foe with all his hatred to give in to the dark powers I could not help but applaud the inventiveness of Mrs. Rowling. Well done. My money: Gone.

I know that was a very rough and subjective review of someone, absolutely immune to the virus that is Harry Potter. Don’t take it personally, just wanted to vent some steam here…